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It’s Life Gym, but not as We Knew It

Joe Wicks Soft Toy

This is taken from an instagram post of ours:

These Joe Wicks workouts don’t half give our children some enjoyment, not because they actually do the exercises, but because the get to watch their old Dad try to motivate them by example. Every lumbering lunge and staggering star jump of mine elicits a searing guffaw from the vicinity of the bean bag. Actually, it came as quite a relief to find Joe Wicks. Our previous workout was a much more punishing affair with an elasticated woman who seems to have an ungodly fixation with ‘glutes’ (work them, tighten them, feel the burn in them, etc.). In the past, I got plenty of exercise walking to the co-op to buy the things I forgot to buy when I walked there ten minutes earlier. Now our exceedingly rare journeys are all by car. We have even taken to driving the three hundred metres to our allotment. The new state of the world is already etching itself clearly in the landscape there. Some of the allotments have never looked so good. Their owners, in furlough and having far too much time on their hands, have embarked on miniature farming on an industrial scale. It gets so busy there during the day that sometimes we drive there, turn around and drive straight home. And then there are allotments like ours that belong to the people for whom time became as unattainable as (I’d put in a simile here but I haven’t got time to think of one), the ones who woke one sunny morning to discover that the help had quit and they’d been appointed PE teacher, jailer, catering manager, policeman of the internet, general manager of the No You Can Not Have Netflix PR Agency, and professor of maths, Spanish, science, history, geography and hiding the mobile phones. And that’s on top of the type of work that earns actual money. We’re under pressure because we have a knitting community in Southwest China that is riding on our support. Ignore all of the rhetoric and political posturing. Our knitters in China are just good, very skilled, people who work hard and have stuck with us through thick and thin. We’ve had to change strategy a bit, but we’re working to adapt quickly and push out new products. We want to do what’s right by them. (I’ve run out of space). #chunkichilli